Who is Really to Blame for Global Warming?

Saturday 25th of April 2009 – lunchtime. The subtitles on Sky News were awful and quickly hit the point where it was painful to read them. Here are some highlights.

A report from the US told us that in these austere times, sales of guns were increasing and defying the credit crunch. Sky’s subtitles told it like this

In America, bum sales are soaring.

In the Bahrain Grand Prix, early championship pace setter Jenson Button was struggling slightly in early qualifying and found himself in a disappointing sixth. However, despite this, he really didn’t deserve Sky subtitle’s comments.

Jenson Button is thick.

Elsewhere some poor chap called R. Haynes was being blamed for creating 30% of all carbon emissions. The visual report showed that in fact aeroplanes were more responsible. Finally, in a controversy over an advertisement for tourism in Canada we were told that Alberta’s people were wobbly. I’ve not worked that one out yet.

This is hard work – I hope you’re all appreciating it!

Kebabs and Neverland

Where can you order a kebab and have it covered in delicious sores? Just what is Sharqa Tax and when do I pay it? Why did delegates from Neverland turn up at a recent UN Summit? And why, when it's raining should I take Australian fast bowler Brett Lee with me?

These are all examples of very bad subtitles from UK television - Delicious sores should, of course, be delicious sauce; Sharqa Tax was Shark Attacks, Neverland should be the Netherlands and Brett Lee should have been brolly.

Now, on a serious point, no I can't imagine how difficult it must be to type as quickly as someone speaks and no, I wouldn't like to do it myself. However, at times when I've been somewhere where the sound is muted, the subtitles are unreadable and frustrating - no joke if you're deaf and are relying on them.

Anyway enough of that 'disclaimer' many people find them funny. This, bear in mind, is where America elected President A Bummer. (I'm serious) Keep reading for more bad subtitles and if you come across any genuine ones yourself, please send them in.